Balancing families and relationships may be difficult at times, particularly when your spouse does not get along with family members. It may also be difficult to be the one on the receiving end of this circumstance, having to deal with individuals who aren’t quite their cup of tea. For one 26-year-old lady, this was beginning to appear to be the case.
On December 12, 2021, she went to Reddit to disclose some relationship problems she was having and to seek assistance from other members. The original poster (OP) had been seeing her 30-year-old boyfriend Adam for four years, but they weren’t particularly close. She was, nevertheless, close with her former sister-in-law, who was no longer a family member after her divorce from Adam’s brother.
As OP and Adam’s relationship progressed, OP made a concerted effort to strengthen his bonds with his family, particularly his mother.
Because they were becoming more serious and considered marriage as their next step, Adam’s mother-in-law handed him her old engagement ring to propose with, as was customary in their family.
OP had a major problem with this because the ring already had a lot of history, and she wanted something more personal and important to her relationship. This ended in a massive argument between her, Adam, and Adam’s mother, prompting OP to seek advice from Redditors on what she should do next.
Apart from his previous sister-in-law, OP revealed in her Reddit post that she isn’t connected to her boyfriend’s family. Three years earlier, her future mother-in-law handed OP’s future brother-in-law her previous engagement ring to propose to his now ex-wife. “It’s a family custom to pass down the ring, and because they don’t have any daughters or sisters, the ring went to my brother-in-ex-wife,” law’s OP stated.
However, after the couple divorced, the brother-in-law received the ring back and is now focused on raising his children.
“Now that everyone knows Adam and I aim to make our relationship official and seek marriage, which is our objective,” OP said, “his mother recommended he propose using her engagement ring, which my brother-in-law had already proposed to his now ex.”
While Adam was enthusiastic about the concept, OP was wary of the fact that the ring had already been linked to other relationships, including her previous sister-in-law, with whom she was still close. “I feel like that ring has already had more than one love story,” OP explained. “I believe I have the right to wear a ring that signifies our relationship and is mine and Adam’s.”
Her prospective mother-in-law said that it was their custom, and that it would be rude of OP to refuse her prior engagement ring because it had such personal importance. “I explained why I didn’t like it,” OP added, “but she inferred I plainly wanted a’ more sparkly and costly one.”
Adam, on the other hand, agreed with his mother. “I don’t get it,” he remarked. Do you truly believe that a ring is more essential than us communicating and knowing each other? Besides, that’s what my mother wants, and to be absolutely honest with you, I’m simply trying to preserve the peace and stay on her good side, which is exactly what you should be doing RIGHT NOW instead of causing unneeded drama and harming your relationship with your mother.”
When OP questioned Adam why his mother’s opinion was equivalent to or more significant than his own, the two got into a quarrel. Since then, OP has asked Redditors for their opinions on the situation, and she has gotten a lot of feedback emphasizing how terrible her boyfriend’s actions was.
“Oh my god,” one person said. What do you think he’ll do if his mother has an opinion on your wedding plans, a house you’re looking at, or how you raise your children if he’s attempting to preserve the peace on this real issue? In my perspective, the ring carries some negative karma, and I wouldn’t want to wear a ring that I’ve seen worn by a buddy for years.”
“You can tell how this relationship is going to last forever,” another person said. His mother will always take precedence over you, and he will soothe her whenever she engages in drama. The fact that he is expressly stating these requirements indicates that he already knows she will comply. “Are you prepared to cope with this for the rest of your life?”